Austin's Fave Five Films of 2013

(yes it's a clip from a different movie, but I never pass up an opportunity to post the best song)

5. G.I. Joe: Retaliation

The future of entertainment with worldwide appeal that Tim talks about is fine and good, but sometimes an inclusive nature changes things for the worse.  That sometimes has a name, and its name is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the first live action G.I. Joe movie.  It was atrocious.  2013's sequel, G.I. Joe: Retaliation was not atrocious.  While that might not be the high praise you'd expect on a top 5 list, it is enough in my eyes.  I've been a fan of the real American Heroes for longer than any other fictional characters and the somewhat redemptive nature of the movie delighted me to no end.  There's a number of other highlights including impeccable casting of the Rock as Roadblock, distinct lack of Channing Tatum, and Snake Eyes getting to actually be a badass ninja that fights other ninja on the side of a mountain instead of a mute with molded lips.  The link between the Arashikage and Wu-Tang was further strengthened  with RZA's unexpected appearance as a blind ninja master.  I know it's just a passable movie, but it's a passable movie I liked dammit.

4. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

It's The Hobbit and it's a goddamn fun as hell adventure.  People that have a problem with the movie are probably saying two things: 1) "a bloo bloo bloo, they took liberties with the book" 2) "where's the rest of the story?"  "Stay patient, nerd" is the only appropriate response.  The changes and additions made to the story for the movie sake are fine and add to the story in an organic enough way.  Seriously though, it's an adventure story that feels like an exciting adventure.  Then again, my judgment could've been clouded by viewing the audiovisual dumbassery that is Rebuild of Evangelion 3 earlier that same day which made tH:DoS seem like the best movie ever if not for 3 specific reasons (hint: they're one, two, and three on my list).

3. Bad Grandpa

As a Jackass aficionado every new release by Johnny Knoxville and company I tend to meet with unbridled glee.  Bad Grandpa is no exception.  Forgoing the outrageous/dangerous physical stunts part of the equation this time Johnny Knoxville remains entirely in heavily prosthesis as an old troublesome man.  The strangest part of the movie comes with the introduction of an overriding narrative.  Crafting a narrative to link the gags is an odd choice made even more bizarre as the link between Knoxville's bad grandpa and his young grandson is touching in a way no one would have probably thought.  Perhaps it shouldn't come as a surprise considering Spike Jonze's talent and heavy involvement in the series.  That said the physical and candid camera gags are still the draw.  If you don't think an old man crapping his pants so bad that he inadvertently paints the walls of an eating establishment brown is funny then how do you even enjoy life?

2.Escape Plan

There is a certain audience for this movie about Arnold and Stallone escaping from an inescapable prison, and that audience is me.  Old action heroes, prison fights, sneaky plots, exploding barrels, twists, and TWISTS, Escape Plan has it all.  This clearly isn't for everyone, and it's only natural for some people to roll their eyes at it.  Too bad it's still the second best movie of the year.  I like what I like and I apologize for nothing.  

1. Pacific Rim

My fascination with mecha is well documented, so it shouldn't come as any surprise that Pacific Rim is my top pick for 2013.  There's not much left to say about it that Jake and I didn't already cover in our dialogue about it.  Tastes are subjective, but what's not subjective is how objectively awesome the action scenes where.  How rad was that Hong Kong battle?  Super rad, amirite?  Let me reiterate then, it's a giant robot movie that reminded me why I love giant robots, so I think it can stir some feelings in even the hardest of hearts.

Jake's five favorite films of 2013

UPDATE 12/31: I probably should've put the documentary Blackfish on here. You should definitely watch it. It's currently streaming on Netflix.

5. Gravity

Most space films are about saving the galaxy, stopping xenocide, all sorts of epic sagas. Gravity manages to be a very intimate, small space movie. There's really only one main character and one supporting character, and that's it. No huge musical score either. I'm not a Sandra Bullock fan, but she does a great job here, reminding me of James Franco's "solitary character trying to save themselves for the entire film" performance in 127 Hours. Breathtaking cinematography and a strong female protagonist (something movies in general and sci-fi in particular can use more of) make Gravity one of my favorite films of 2013. A lot of sci-fi geeks preferred Europa Report this year, but Gravity is less ambitious in scale and more tightly written and heartfelt.

4. The World's End

Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost's Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are two of my favorite comedies of all time, and they complete the spiritual trilogy with The World's End. It doesn't quite stand toe-to-toe with them, but that might only be because I haven't watched it dozens of times yet like I've watched the other two. The film starts off slow as a story about old friends getting back together, but it quickly escalates into the trio's signature insanity. A commentary on suburbia and pub culture... with evil robots. This movie was in production for years, but seemed to get overlooked because of the similarly-titled and similarly-premised comedy This Is the End hitting theaters a month earlier. Hopefully The World's End stands the test of time and lives on as a cult classic like its predecessors.

3. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Everyone seemed to hate this movie. It was everything I wanted the followup to the first Hobbit film to be. While An Unexpected Journey had to spend tons of time introducing all the characters and storylines, The Desolation of Smaug gets to skip most of the exposition and head right into the story. If you want something deep and meaningful, go watch The Lord of the Rings. This movie is just pure movie fun. The barrel escape scene, my favorite scene from the book, is one of the best comedic action sequences I've seen in a mainstream film in years.

It's awkward to make The Hobbit AFTER making the chronologically-later and larger-in-scale Lord of the Rings, but Peter Jackson makes it work to the film's advantage here. When Bilbo loses his Ring and has to take it from a baby spider, he does so with the uncharacteristic fiendishness of a drug addict--some great foreshadowing of things to come with the Ring. And of course, Benedict Cumberbatch's performance as the dragon Smaug is a thing of beauty, somehow making a talking dragon not sound super cheesy.

2. I'm So Excited

Pedro Almodóvar wanted something a bit more lighthearted after working on The Skin I Live In in 2011. I'm So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros in Spanish) is a gay comedy about a doomed flight full of quirky passengers. The vast majority of the film takes place on the plane itself, with the eccentric flight attendants trying to figure out how to calm the passengers when they know their plane is going to crash. This is the kind of comedy American studios never make anymore, with the trademark Almodóvar flair and some nifty cameos by Almodóvar veterans Penélope Cruz and Antonio Banderas.

1. Escape from Tomorrow

This movie is not for everyone. The acting is inconsistent, the plot doesn't quite make sense, and it's all in black and white. But Escape from Tomorrow is my favorite film of the year by a landslide. It was filmed entirely on location at Disney World and Disneyland without permission. The film's official website has a clock counting the amount of time it's been released without getting sued by Disney.

How does this movie even exist?! Escape from Tomorrow was filmed undercover with the actors and crew pretending to be regular Disney World tourists taking pictures and video of their family vacation. The director flew all the way to South Korea to edit the movie in secret, and now that it's been released, Disney isn't suing because they know it would only give Escape from Tomorrow more publicity. It's a surrealist commentary on consumerism and the Male Gaze with trippy visuals and creative camera work. Even if it's not the most expertly crafted film, Escape from Tomorrow is the most daring, adventurous movie of 2013, and you need to see it. It's currently available for streaming on iTunes and Amazon Video.

Jake's five favorite films of 2012

5. Monsieur Lazhar

This Canadian movie came out in its home country in 2011--it was actually nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at last year's Oscars--but didn't get a Stateside theatrical release until 2012. Monsieur Lazhar is the story of an Algerian political refugee who becomes a schoolteacher in Montréal. The film explores the protagonist's relationship with his students, and how that reflects his insecurities about his home and his past.

It's very much a Debbie Downer kind of movie, in a good way. The film is understated and quiet. If you or someone close to you is a teacher, you'll appreciate Monsieur Lazhar. The movie also deals with the anxieties of immigration in a new and interesting way that I hadn't really seen in any film before. And the cinematography of wintry Montréal is gorgeous--my mom told me it reminded her of iconic Canadian children's book The Hockey Sweater.

My five favorite Lego sets of 2012

As some of you may know, one of my day jobs is at Lego. While I don't own all the sets on this list, I spend enough hours per week essentially staring at Lego that I feel I'm qualified to make this decision.

5. Town Hall

Town Hall is the newest addition to Lego's ongoing modular buildings theme. It's the biggest set in the series, which began in 2007 and has become one of the most popular themes for the sizable adult Lego fan community. The past five years or so, Lego has really begun to acknowledge and embrace the fact that they have so many adult Lego fans, creating many new sets like this one that are aimed specifically at older builders.

These sets are some of the only remaining Lego products with minifigures who retain the classic "two dots for eyes and a smile" face, while most modern minifigs feature a wide variety of facial expressions. Town Hall features a ton of figs and interesting building techniques, like the use of croissants for the city's crest. There's also "1891" on the front to signify the year the town hall was built--coincidentally, 1891 is the birth year of Lego founder Ole Kirk Christiansen. The flat townhouse style is reminiscent of Copenhagen architecture. In fact, the pillars and small balcony where the mayor stands reminds me of Christiansborg Palace, the seat of the Danish government where the royal family stands on the balcony to address their constituents. Overall, a timeless set which reminds me of my months living in Copenhagen.

The Hobbit review

I was incredibly worried about The Hobbit. Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings is one of the most important works of film in my life. I know, if I were a "real" fan I'd care more about J.R.R. Tolkien's original books. And I do. But being the age that I am, Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy came out smack dab in the middle of my formative years.

When The Fellowship of the Ring was released in December 2001, I had just turned 12. I remember seeing the very first trailer for the movie earlier that year; I spent the next few months rapidly reading The Hobbit and LotR in time for the film's release. While older fans took issue with the numerous changes Peter Jackson made to Tolkien's classics, I've essentially been experiencing the movies just as long as I've been experiencing the books, so to me Jackson's version is no less legitimate than Tolkien's version.

With The Hobbit, however, my time between reading the book and seeing the movie was much more significant. I had eleven years of reading the novel before Jackson's first Hobbit film came out yesterday. So I was afraid I would be far less receptive to the movie's changes than I had been to the changes in the LotR trilogy.

I was wrong.

It didn't start so well. I've long been a skeptic of 3D cinema being the wave of the future, as Yahtzee Croshaw illustrates more eloquently than I ever could. But Peter Jackson is insistent that 3D is the way to go with The Hobbit. So I trusted him. And what I got was... exactly what I thought. Upon the film starting, it looked like the cheesy cardboard-cutout 3D I expected. I thought I was bound to hate it for the duration of the film. Fortunately, by the end of the movie I stopped being bothered by the 3D effect, which I suppose shows its success. There were even a few nice 3D touches, particularly little things like smoke and a few close-up shots of characters' faces. But I still want to see the movie again in 2D.