Superman 64: general
consensus was that it was an abomination of a game. Have you ever stopped
to wonder why, though? Sure, the first level involved you navigating
Superman through a series of hula hoops suspended in a pink sky.
Sure, the controls were more or less ass. Sure, most people said enough
of that shit and promptly returned the cartridge to Blockbuster. The
evidence all leads to the conclusion that this was a godawful videogame that
should share an unmarked grave with E.T. What this also proves, though, is
that Superman really is one of the best superheroes ever created and is
deserving of the title "Superman" in the Nietzscheian sense of the word (how
the hell do you turn Nietzsche into an adjective, the dude might have been so
dour because his last name is goddamn crazy). That is because Superman
always does the right thing and if faced with the task of playing a bad
videogame to save his friends, nay anyone, then he would rise to the challenge
in a single bound.
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| Hold onto your Rumble Paks |
What led me to challenge the
traditional opinion on Superman 64
was a discussion with a GameStop employee.
Somehow we began to discuss upcoming movies and he mentioned he was
excited about the upcoming Superman film.
I concurred and mentioned that anything would be better than Superman Returns, and I facetiously
added even Superman 64. This statement was quickly rebuffed, but the
thought had already entered my mind.
Unable to form a coherent argument for my controversial stance at the
time has led me here, and hopefully others can join in on the enlightenment.
The flight, strength, and near-invincibility is hard for bad guys to adequately counter. That is why Lex
Luthor is Superman's iconic villain. While Lex may trade blows with the
son of Jor-El on occasion, Luthor is at his best when scheming and attacking
Superman from other means besides frontal assault. In that respect, the
floating rings of doom in hotdog-flavored air is one of the most evil
machinations in all of the multiverse. You cannot always have a pocketful
of Kryptonite; sometimes you hold hostages and issue frustratingly tedious
demands.
